I wanted to write a post from a “mothers point of view” mainly because I’ve been feeling like I blame myself I’m pretty sure that this is normal in some way. It isn’t my fault I got Incredibly ill, I didn’t choose to have an infection that most people carry, I never chose not nearly not make it.
In a way I hope other mummy’s and mummy’s to be understand where I’m coming from. I suppose its a mothers instinct right? I carried Violet around for 9 months I grew her and fed her nutrients I looked after her, I naturally gave birth to her. Imagine one day if that just got take all away from you. She’s a part of me and always will be and in a way that’s why I blame myself because if I’d have not got ill neither would she.
I know I shouldn’t think this at all as I understand it isn’t my fault, as a mother I think it its natures way and a mothers instinct to protect your child.
It’s going to take a long time to come to terms and accept what’s happened something I’ll never “get over”. I keep trying to think positive and all of the good times rather than blaming myself about what’s happened.
I hope other mummy’s who have been through the same understand. If there is anyone out there that has or who can help please reach out to me.
‘Were taking one day at time’